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Binary, still not any wiser after looking it up!

Don't worry about it Waterside Echo, after all only 10 people are wise to it lol

{By the way 10 is one-zero and NOT ten if that helps}

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What about this one then, on the bus this afternoon a group of lads were discussing their approaching school prom, they wanted to hire a limo at a cost £280. The problem was that they had no idea what each would have to pay, one bright spark came up with the idea of recruiting another three of their mates to make it ten and that would be easier to work out. One by one they alighted until there were just two left, AS I got up to get off all I said was £28 each, not bad for seven of you, they just looked up and laughed. What did George Bernard Shaw once say, though in my experience I disagree. Those who can, do. Those that can`t, teach. With apologies to our learned friends. W/E.

Being one of the "learned friends" that works with young people of school leaving age I can well believe that this is true.

These kids were quite bright, - at least they could divide by 10 in their head.

A more usual response would have been "£280 divided by 7, I need a calculator for that one!"

So they can do it, - but they just need to know which buttons to press and need know nothing about arithmetic at all. :(

In any case £40 is a nice round number for them to count out, a bit easier than £28 lol

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As Summer could be on it's way with some warmer weather a reminder of the seaside for you all.

Well perhaps not all Seaside related

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As Summer could be on it's way with some warmer weather a reminder of the seaside for you all.

Well perhaps not all Seaside related

Some very old and well worn jokes here.

The one with the broken down bus is a line straight out of the TV series "On the buses" from around 1972

The one about what was the first thing Eve said to Adam is probably as old as Adam and Eve itself (Blimey that's a hard one)

I seem to think Barbara Windsor was asked the question by Kenneth Williams in Carry On something or other and gave the same answer.

The first thing Adam said to Eve was

"Madam Im Adam"

which must have been the first pallandromic statement (reads exactly the same if read backwards)

I quite like this sort of humour though, - it comes across as being very British.

Other countries just don't appreciate this sort of innuendo

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A few more Postcards..

syrup, you seem to have a large collection of "naughty postcards" :o

Is there something you're trying to tell us? lol

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Thats all folks..

Thanks syrup, some old but classic gags there that certainly brought a smile to my face ( lol )

...and you even finish it off with a famous Warner Brothers Cartoons closing quote. ;-)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Free Healthcare in your old age!!!

Friends,

Give this your due consideration!!

The Government has refused proper health care to many elderly citizens due

to their advancing years.

It is a worrying problem for many but help is at hand

Join the new free care plan today. If you are 60 years or older, you can apply.

All new members will receive a gun and four bullets.

You are allowed to shoot one MP (two if you live in England ), one MSP, one

councillor and just to be sure of a long prison sentence, someone you really

don't like and think the world could do without..

As part of the plan, you will leave enough evidence to make sure you are caught

and in due course will be sent to prison.

There you will get a safe centrally heated environment, three meals a day, lots

of company, free TV and an assortment of games plus - most importantly - all

the health care you need!

New teeth needed? No problem.

New glasses? They'll be provided.

New hip, knees, kidney, lung, heart?...... They're all covered too.

And who will pay for all of this?

The same government that told you they cannot afford your current health care.

And as an added bonus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income

tax anymore.

Britain. A GREAT country.........but for whom?

P.S. Just by the way, the EU have given prisoners the vote, so they can vote in

this wonderful government again !!!!

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Free Healthcare in your old age!!!

Friends,

Give this your due consideration!!

The Government has refused proper health care to many elderly citizens due

to their advancing years.

It is a worrying problem for many but help is at hand

Join the new free care plan today. If you are 60 years or older, you can apply.

All new members will receive a gun and four bullets.

You are allowed to shoot one MP (two if you live in England ), one MSP, one

councillor and just to be sure of a long prison sentence, someone you really

don't like and think the world could do without..

As part of the plan, you will leave enough evidence to make sure you are caught

and in due course will be sent to prison.

There you will get a safe centrally heated environment, three meals a day, lots

of company, free TV and an assortment of games plus - most importantly - all

the health care you need!

New teeth needed? No problem.

New glasses? They'll be provided.

New hip, knees, kidney, lung, heart?...... They're all covered too.

And who will pay for all of this?

The same government that told you they cannot afford your current health care.

And as an added bonus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income

tax anymore.

Britain. A GREAT country.........but for whom?

P.S. Just by the way, the EU have given prisoners the vote, so they can vote in

this wonderful government again !!!!

I thought that this was a humour section for jokes and funny stuff <_<

This last one from syrup is depressing :( and annoying :angry: mainly because it is all so true :blink:

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The Yorkshire Coat of Arms.

A Flea, A Fly, A Magpie, an' Bacon Flitch

Ist' Yorkshermans Coit of Arms

And t'reason they've chozzen these things so rich

Is becoss they hav'all speshal charms.

A Flea will bite whoivver it can-- An soa, my lads, will a Yorksherman!

A Fly will sup with wee pipe, Tom or Dan An' soa, by gow! will a Yorksherman!

A Magpie can talk for a terrible span -- An' soa an all, can a Yorksherman.

A Flitch is no gooid whol its hung, ye'll agree No more is a Yorksherman, don't ye see..

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A photographer up t'hi street advertised that he could retouch photographs.

So in walks this woman with a picture of 'er departed husband.

I'd like this 'eer photo retouched, and while yer at it remove his 'at. I nivver did like that 'at.

Aye said t'photographer chap. Now just before you go missus I must know which side he parted his hair.

E by gum lad, you must think I am reight daft, you'll find that out when you take his 'at off.

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A photographer up t'hi street advertised that he could retouch photographs.

So in walks this woman with a picture of 'er departed husband.

I'd like this 'eer photo retouched, and while yer at it remove his 'at. I nivver did like that 'at.

Aye said t'photographer chap. Now just before you go missus I must know which side he parted his hair.

E by gum lad, you must think I am reight daft, you'll find that out when you take his 'at off.

Reminds me of one of the blessed Tony Capstick's stories.

A Sheffield chap had a wife who was a very devout churchgoer. Much of her time was spent doing good works for the church, and when she died her husband decided to have a gravestone erected. The stonemason asked what he wanted it to say, and after some thought the man said that as his wife had devoted her life to the church, he thought the words "She were thine, Lord" might be appropriate.

A few days later the mason let him know the stone was in place so he went to look. Unfortunately there was a mistake, and the stone read "She were thin Lord". So he rang the mason and said "It's wrong, you missed off the 'e'." A few days later the mason let him know he'd sorted it, so he went back to check, and the inscription now read "Ee she were thin Lord"

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

A very unfortunate description chosen by Google's web crawlers. he he

Search terms Crookes Carpets

Steve Pope Properties Student Crookes Rent Houses Accommodation ...

rent houses accommodation crookes sheffield. ... hovels that come complete with damp, mould, peeling wallpaper and mind bending swirly patterned carpets. ... :o

www.stevepopeproperties.co.uk/ - Cached

Obviously not the case when read in context on the site proper, but this illustrates the perils of letting search robots "make the decision".

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A very unfortunate description chosen by Google's web crawlers. he he

Search terms Crookes Carpets

Steve Pope Properties Student Crookes Rent Houses Accommodation ...

rent houses accommodation crookes sheffield. ... hovels that come complete with damp, mould, peeling wallpaper and mind bending swirly patterned carpets. ... :o

www.stevepopeproperties.co.uk/ - Cached

Obviously not the case when read in context on the site proper, but this illustrates the perils of letting search robots "make the decision".

".... hovels that come complete with damp, mould, peeling wallpaper and mind bending swirly patterned carpets."

Now that's my sort of estate agent ;-)

One that is absolutely HONEST about the property they are trying to sell and tells you straight and truthfully. B)

You try to find one, - if you can! lol

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Just came across these thought they might amuse.

Not so sure that these are humourus jokes syrup <_< , they sound frighteningly true :o

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good Old Gordon.

Nice one syrup, - especially after Gordon's recent faux pas with calling the woman who was a lifelong Labour supporter a "biggot"

Suddenly he reminds me of that song by local artist Jilted John, - the one with the repeated line "Gordon is a moron"

Latests news today is that Gordon is to step down as the Labour leader due to his personal lack of popularity.

Now if he had done that BEFORE the election the outcome could have been very different.

That comic style looks home made, did you make it syrup or did it come from somewhere else?

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Nice one syrup, - especially after Gordon's recent faux pas with calling the woman who was a lifelong Labour supporter a "biggot"

Suddenly he reminds me of that song by local artist Jilted John, - the one with the repeated line "Gordon is a moron"

Latests news today is that Gordon is to step down as the Labour leader due to his personal lack of popularity.

Now if he had done that BEFORE the election the outcome could have been very different.

That comic style looks home made, did you make it syrup or did it come from somewhere else?

Hi DaveH No i did not do it a friend sent it me and at this point i dont know where she got it from i could not help but share it

due to it being so good.

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Hi DaveH No i did not do it a friend sent it me and at this point i dont know where she got it from i could not help but share it

due to it being so good.

Sent to you by a female friend syrup :rolleyes:

It wasn't HRH Queen Elizabeth II was it? :unsure:

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