DaveH Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 When I was at Firth Park Grammar we had a brand-new-from-college history teacher who turned up in an Isetta. On a number of occasions he was ambushed on arrival by a group of unkind pupils who pushed the car with him in it nose first up to the wall and ran away. Of a Friday evening when on occasions he worked late, the school scout troop would delight in lifting it up and carrying it to a new parking space in the sunken quadrangle (only accessible by steps). Fortunately he took it all in good part, and was a popular teacher with all and sundry. I seem to remember of very old "Candid Camera" programme (a sort of early 1960's version of "You've Been Framed" and "Watch Out! Beadle's About" in one). In those days almost all petrol stations were operated by an attendant who filled your tank rather than self service. In the Candid Camera "gag" a bubble car (it may have been an Isetta, but could have been one of several other makes which were very common on the roads at that time, - most of them named after German luftwaffe aircraft) had been specially modified so that most of its internal space was replaced by a very large fuel tank. There was a suprisingly large amount of "dead space" in side such a small car. Filled with a minimal amount of fuel, the car was driven by a disguised TV presenter into a garage, looked on by a hidden TV camera crew. The attendant approached the car as it pulled up at the pumps and was told by the presenter / driver, without getting out of the car (which would have revealed the extra large fuel tank) to "fill her up" The candid camera comedy element was the expression and reaction of the attendant as the pump registered ever increasing amounts of fuel, giving a ridiculously high value before the tank was final full and the presenter / driver said those famous words, "Smile! You're on Candid Camera" This "gag" was so sucessful that a few years later they did a similar stunt with a more conventional car from which the engine had been removed. The car was rolled down a hill into a garage at the bottom (so that it appeared that the car had been driven in). The driver / presenter then filled up with fuel (self service this time), paid for it, went back to his car briefly and then back into the garage to say he couldn't get his car to start and could some of their mechanics come and help him. Of course this time it was the unsuspecting mechanics who were the victims of Candid Camera when they discovered that the reason the car would not start was that it didn't have an engine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bayleaf Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Some years ago a colleague and his family went on holiday in their old banger. Setting off for home he pulled into a petrol station, took off the filler cap and started to fill up. It seemed to be taking a long time but he put it down to an elderly pump in a rural petrol station, and didn't bother to look at the indicator. (You can tell how long ago this was, petrol was that cheap!) Puzzled he looked in the boot and found the suitcases floating in petrol, he'd stuck the nozzle through the corroded filler pipe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Some years ago a colleague and his family went on holiday in their old banger. Setting off for home he pulled into a petrol station, took off the filler cap and started to fill up. It seemed to be taking a long time but he put it down to an elderly pump in a rural petrol station, and didn't bother to look at the indicator. (You can tell how long ago this was, petrol was that cheap!) Puzzled he looked in the boot and found the suitcases floating in petrol, he'd stuck the nozzle through the corroded filler pipe! Reminds me of a story about an American Ford car which I can't remember the name of as it was always referred to as the "Ford Firebox" because if it was involved in a rear end shunt even at relatively low speed it would invariably rupture the badly placed rear fuel tank and cause the fuel to ignite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 In the following weeks episode Clarkson, not wishing to look a total incompetent pillock for rolling a Reliant Robin several times must have payed the Stig a hefty backhander bribe to test drive a Reliant around a race track and deliberately roll it over as a stuntman out of the A-team would have done to try and "prove" that it wasn't Clarksons crap driving skills, it really was the car at fault. Third week running and yet another so called car expert self professed great driver gets to prove he can't drive a 3 wheel car without rolling it over. Hey I must be pretty good, spent 7 years driving them and never rolled one over! Never seen Clarkson and his chums on a motorcycle. Perhaps a REAL turn of power and acceleration that only a motorcycle can provide is just too much or too scarey for Clarkson. After all, he wouldn't want to hurt himself by falling off it would he? I'm sure he would much rather that "Rocket Man" Hammond would do that {More correctly called "Pocket Rocket Man" due to his small stature} Now for a really challenging 3 wheeled vehicle a motorcycle combination (motorbike and sidecar) with its assymetrical wheel layout and power only on one side takes some beating. Accelerate quickly and the powered bike tries to "overtake" its unpowered sidecar, causing it to try to do a left turn. Brake hard and the weight and momentum of the sidecar causes it to try and overtake the bike, causing it to try to turn right. That takes some real skill, intelligence and physical strength to handle. As none of these traits are posessed by Clarkson I would love to see him have a go But I would turn the sound off so I didn't have to hear him winge, whine and moan about it when he couldn't do it. <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 Well, that was a short series. From Sheffield being mentioned in episode 1 in late June to the last episode last weekend amounts to about 6 episodes. Must admit that thanks to this topic here I have watched every episode, - normally I wouldn't have bothered at all or just turned it over / off. Also got to say I quite enjoyed it once you accept it for what it is and not what it tries to claim to be. It claims to be a program which tests and reports on new cars It is actually a comedy programme about 3 idiots that think they know about cars but constantly prove that they don't. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart0742 Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 Well, that was a short series. From Sheffield being mentioned in episode 1 in late June to the last episode last weekend amounts to about 6 episodes. Must admit that thanks to this topic here I have watched every episode, - normally I wouldn't have bothered at all or just turned it over / off. Also got to say I quite enjoyed it once you accept it for what it is and not what it tries to claim to be. It claims to be a program which tests and reports on new cars It is actually a comedy programme about 3 idiots that think they know about cars but constantly prove that they don't. car based entertainment show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Look what Clarkson has gone and done now!!! Clip from todays Daily Mirror, Saturday 21 August 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Which remind me, While on holiday in Italy I noticed how many Italians drive around in small 3 wheeled vehicles, and even works and businesses have 3 wheel wagons like this one which bears more than a passing resemblance to the British Reliant Fox 3 wheeler wagon (anyone remember those?) Now, given that Italians have a reputation in Britain for being the World's worst drivers (and that wasn't my observation of them while out there, - I have met British drivers that are far worse!!) and given that many Italian roads are steep, mountainous and with hairpin bends (the sort Clarkson would manage to tip even a 4 wheel car over on)why would they want to drive around in small 3 wheel vehicles? Is it perhaps that they know how to drive them safely and that certain British TV presenters don't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilldweller Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Which remind me, While on holiday in Italy I noticed how many Italians drive around in small 3 wheeled vehicles, and even works and businesses have 3 wheel wagons like this one which bears more than a passing resemblance to the British Reliant Fox 3 wheeler wagon (anyone remember those?) Now, given that Italians have a reputation in Britain for being the World's worst drivers (and that wasn't my observation of them while out there, - I have met British drivers that are far worse!!) and given that many Italian roads are steep, mountainous and with hairpin bends (the sort Clarkson would manage to tip even a 4 wheel car over on)why would they want to drive around in small 3 wheel vehicles? Is it perhaps that they know how to drive them safely and that certain British TV presenters don't? Never been to Italy 'so I wouldn't know, but the three wheeled van doesn't appear to have a front registration plate. Is that the norm in Italy ? I thought that we were all supposed to be singing from the same hymn-sheet nowadays, or does it count as a motor-cycle with no need for a front number plate. HD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Never been to Italy 'so I wouldn't know, but the three wheeled van doesn't appear to have a front registration plate. Is that the norm in Italy ? I thought that we were all supposed to be singing from the same hymn-sheet nowadays, or does it count as a motor-cycle with no need for a front number plate. HD Not thought about that one Captain Hilldweller (3 pips ) Obviously Italian vehicles do have registration plates just like anywhere else. In Britain a 3 wheel Reliant has to have a front plate, but a motor tricycle doesn't. Could be sonething to do with weather the front (central) wheel is under the vehicle bodywork, as on a Reliant, or if it is exposed as the most forward protruding part, as on a motorbike. I also noticed the Italians liking for the motor scooter, the Vespa and Lambretta styles which originate in Italy. There are more of those on the roads than motorbikes. It's interesting to see the sort of people that drive around on these scooters, old men in their 70's, young girls barely out of their teens, professional looking businessmen, nuns, mother superior (but perhaps not the Pope! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilldweller Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Not thought about that one Captain Hilldweller (3 pips ) Obviously Italian vehicles do have registration plates just like anywhere else. In Britain a 3 wheel Reliant has to have a front plate, but a motor tricycle doesn't. Could be sonething to do with weather the front (central) wheel is under the vehicle bodywork, as on a Reliant, or if it is exposed as the most forward protruding part, as on a motorbike. I also noticed the Italians liking for the motor scooter, the Vespa and Lambretta styles which originate in Italy. There are more of those on the roads than motorbikes. It's interesting to see the sort of people that drive around on these scooters, old men in their 70's, young girls barely out of their teens, professional looking businessmen, nuns, mother superior (but perhaps not the Pope! ) I seem to remember that the reason motor cycles were eventually excused front number plates was because they were normally mounted on the top of the front mudguard on the axis of the machine as it were, and carried details on each side. I think some herbert decided that this was a elf & safety risk to pedestrians as they were quite stiff and thin (knifelike). If you went over the handlebars it would probably do your undercarriage no good as well. Captain Hilldweller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveHB Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 If you went over the handlebars it would probably do your undercarriage no good as well. Captain Hilldweller Ouch ! he he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vox Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Which remind me, While on holiday in Italy I noticed how many Italians drive around in small 3 wheeled vehicles, and even works and businesses have 3 wheel wagons like this one which bears more than a passing resemblance to the British Reliant Fox 3 wheeler wagon (anyone remember those?) They're made by Piagio (which is Vespa) There are a couple in Sheffield. My friend had one until very recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I seem to remember that the reason motor cycles were eventually excused front number plates was because they were normally mounted on the top of the front mudguard on the axis of the machine as it were, and carried details on each side. I think some herbert decided that this was a elf & safety risk to pedestrians as they were quite stiff and thin (knifelike). If you went over the handlebars it would probably do your undercarriage no good as well. Captain Hilldweller As I understand it the reason for no longer requiring a front number plate on a motorbike is as you say, the danger it posed to anyone you happened to run into with it. As for going over the handlebars, depending on speed you would more than likely be thrown well clear of the number plate, and if you are not at least it is moving in roughly the same direction and at the same speed that you are, unlike a pedistrian that would be hit with the full speed and weight of the bike. I can't keep calling you Captain Hilldweller, - it reminds me too much of Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwairing in Dad's Army!! STUPID BOY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 They're made by Piagio (which is Vespa) There are a couple in Sheffield. My friend had one until very recently. Yes they are Piagio vehicles Although I don't have a rear view of this vehicle it has the word Piago embossed into the pressed metal rear tailgate. Metal! - not exactly like a Reliant Fox then as all Reliant vehicles (including the Scimitar sports car) were made of GBR (glass bonded resin). If there are some Piagio ones driving around in Sheffield do they make a right hand drive model for the UK market? Or is the driver forced to sit on the left nearest our kerbside? Anyway vox they are not really a suitable replacement for your van as if it rains nobody would want a soggy wet carpet fitting would they. I do have a passion for unusual vehicles (steam traction engines, 3 wheelers etc), but I don't suppose that Clarkson would want to be seem dead in a Piaggio 3 wheeler, - and he wouldn't be able to drive it without rolling it over! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilldweller Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I can't keep calling you Captain Hilldweller, - it reminds me too much of Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwairing in Dad's Army!! STUPID BOY! I'm quite happy to be de-mobbed back to civvies, thank you. Although the pension would have come in handy. DON'T TELL HIM YOUR NAME PIKE !! HD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 DON'T TELL HIM YOUR NAME PIKE !! HD Whistle while you work Hitler is a twerp He's half barmy So's his army Whistle while you work lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilldweller Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 As I understand it the reason for no longer requiring a front number plate on a motorbike is as you say, the danger it posed to anyone you happened to run into with it. As for going over the handlebars, depending on speed you would more than likely be thrown well clear of the number plate, and if you are not at least it is moving in roughly the same direction and at the same speed that you are, unlike a pedistrian that would be hit with the full speed and weight of the bike. I was speaking from bitter (and painful) experiance. Picture the scene, some daft young nerk riding his 49cc Raleigh Gadabout moped (2 speeds, slow and dead slow) through Beeley Woods. Front wheel skids on loose gravel and lands in 3 foot deep hole by side of track. Bike assumes vertical position and rider lands on front wheel with feet wrapped round handlebars. Daft young nerk wheels bike very gingerly back to Malin Bridge. Several months later daft young nerk is riding bike down Herries Road on full boost and afterburners when gear-change cable snaps and 40 mph bike changes into first gear. Daft young nerk wonders why his trousers are running with petrol and pulls up rather abruptly and puts considerable distance between his trousers and smoking bike. When daft young nerk is happy that everything has cooled down, he finds spark-plug embedded in bottom of tin petrol tank. Daft young nerk decides to give up motor bikes. HD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I was speaking from bitter (and painful) experiance. Picture the scene, some daft young nerk riding his 49cc Raleigh Gadabout moped (2 speeds, slow and dead slow) through Beeley Woods. Front wheel skids on loose gravel and lands in 3 foot deep hole by side of track. Bike assumes vertical position and rider lands on front wheel with feet wrapped round handlebars. Daft young nerk wheels bike very gingerly back to Malin Bridge. Several months later daft young nerk is riding bike down Herries Road on full boost and afterburners when gear-change cable snaps and 40 mph bike changes into first gear. Daft young nerk wonders why his trousers are running with petrol and pulls up rather abruptly and puts considerable distance between his trousers and smoking bike. When daft young nerk is happy that everything has cooled down, he finds spark-plug embedded in bottom of tin petrol tank. Daft young nerk decides to give up motor bikes. HD Fortunately my own experiences of motorcycling are very different from this "daft young nerk", many years of enjoyable and safe riding until moving stuff about, keeping dry in bad weather, getting married. having a family etc all took their toll and forced me on to other vehicles. I enjoyed my motorcycling days, but I wouldn't want to go back to it now on todays roads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilldweller Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Fortunately my own experiences of motorcycling are very different from this "daft young nerk", many years of enjoyable and safe riding until moving stuff about, keeping dry in bad weather, getting married. having a family etc all took their toll and forced me on to other vehicles. I enjoyed my motorcycling days, but I wouldn't want to go back to it now on todays roads. Daft young nerk took into account chances of half a gallon of petrol pouring over a red hot engine and not catching fire and decided that he'd used up all nine of his motorcycling lives at one go. Decided that if he wanted to become daft old nerk he'd better find a safer mode of transport. HD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveH Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Daft young nerk took into account chances of half a gallon of petrol pouring over a red hot engine and not catching fire and decided that he'd used up all nine of his motorcycling lives at one go. Decided that if he wanted to become daft old nerk he'd better find a safer mode of transport. HD Clarkson is a daft old nerk but the fact that he is still alive tells you he has never riden a motorbike (how long would he last on one?). As most big motorbikes can easily out accelerate and outpace all those overpriced and over rated cars they he thinks are so fantastic I bit that really annoys him. Good! he he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markbaby Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 Apparently, the Reliant Robin that Clarkson drove had been doctored with one of the rear wheels being of a larger diameter than the other to make it lop sided and unstable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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