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Nothing to do with Christmas


RichardB

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Recommended procedure for lifting that block of Columbian Marching-Power you got Granny for Christmas

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Mozambique

WARNING Ministry of Fish and Wildlife - Mozambique

Due to the rising frequency of human-lion encounters, the Ministry is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, anyone working outdoors etc to take extra precautions while in the bush.

We advise anyone outdoors to wear little noisy bells on their clothing so as to give advanced warning to any lions that might be close by. This is so you do not take them by surprise.

We also advise anyone “out-of-doors” to carry “Pepper Spray” with them in case of an encounter with a lion.

Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh lion activity and be able to tell the difference between lion cub sh*t and big lion sh*t.

Lion cub sh*t is smaller and contains lots of berries. Big lion sh*t has bells in it, and smells like pepper.

Enjoy your stay in Mozambique

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Make sure your equipment is properly adjusted and protected from the elements; carry your tools in an appropriate manner.

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Protective Equipment - available for the most demanding of figures

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Take short breaks from working at your computer

All facilities have been provided

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Smoking and Drinking

Only smoke in designated areas

Your local sports facility now offers alcohol and little bowls of mind-altering drugs ...

Always keep an eye on your children when they are making incendiary devices in the garden ...

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The SheffieldHistory.co.uk Alternative Safety Presentation

Losing the Plot !

Why not install escape ladders in your cess pit in case someone falls in ?

Teflon carpeting makes sure the kids don't find their hidden Chrismas presents ...

If you REALLY, REALLY have to eat the Mother in Laws Lasagne ...

Chip pan fires - remember to remove GrandMa from the fire blanket first ...

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