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There was a strange frost in Heeley in 1901?

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I used to work with a chap who was a magistrate. Working shifts he used to sit on the Bench in the morning before coming to work. A couple of stories I remember;

A young woman student appeared charged with driving the wrong way up a one way street. She pleaded guilty, and the magistrate imposed a fine. She apologised to the court, but she was waiting for her grant and had no money. The magistrate said to the Clerk of the Court "Six months Mr Clerk?" (Meaning six months to pay) at which (having misunderstood) the poor lass fainted.

On another occasion a young man was charged with various offences which took place in one of the department stores. He appeared in the dock in a bizarre costume, and in his defence explained he was an emmissary from the planet Zog, and did not understand earthly customs. Having had the charges explained to him simply and slowly, he agreed that the events described had happened. The magistrate then pronounced sentence, including being bound over, which was in turn explained to him. On being asked whether he accepted the sentence, he asked for pause while he consulted higher authority on his home planet. He then went into an apparent trance for a few minutes, after which he declared it was indeed acceptable to his superiors.

Magistrates can be very patient!

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hilldweller

Like it!

I used to work with a chap who was a magistrate. Working shifts he used to sit on the Bench in the morning before coming to work. A couple of stories I remember;

A young woman student appeared charged with driving the wrong way up a one way street. She pleaded guilty, and the magistrate imposed a fine. She apologised to the court, but she was waiting for her grant and had no money. The magistrate said to the Clerk of the Court "Six months Mr Clerk?" (Meaning six months to pay) at which (having misunderstood) the poor lass fainted.

On another occasion a young man was charged with various offences which took place in one of the department stores. He appeared in the dock in a bizarre costume, and in his defence explained he was an emmisary from the planet Zog, and did not understand earhtly customs. Having had the charges explained to him simply and slowly, he agreed that the events described had happened. The magistrate then pronounced sentence, including being bound over, which was in turn explained to him. On being asked whether he accepted the sentence, he asked for pause while he consulted higher authority on his home planet. He then went into an apparent trance for a few minutes, after which he declared it was indeed acceptable to his superiors.

Magistrates can be very patient!

Takes me back to when I got landed with three weeks Crown Court jury service. It should have been two weeks but it was just before the summer recess and we were tasked to do the extra week.

During this time I served on many jurys but somehow I always landed in the same group as a bloke with an alcohol problem, he couldn't get enough ! lol

He made a habit of falling asleep and snoring during afternoon sittings and we were all expecting him to be in contempt of court but somehow he got away with it.

During the final week there was a trial of a bloke for GBH of a policeman and damaging home office property, he'd stamped on his radio and smashed it.

We were called into court with the three extra jury members for him to pick his choice of twelve.

When the accused was led in, he was a great big bloke with a face like a retired boxer complete with broken nose and scars on his face.

Our friend the tippler took one look at him and in a loud voice said " B****y Hell, you can see that he's guilty".

There was a deathly silence while the judge glared at him. Then before the judge could speak, the accused bellowed to his council and they had a few words in private.

The council then approached the judge and after a short conversation the judge turned to us, the jury, and told us with a smile that the plaintiff had decided to change his plea to guilty and we were all dismissed.

After that the tippler wasn't seen again for the rest of the week :) .

HD

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