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I dont consider " long stand, tartan paint etc." as old sayings they're just silly jokes. 

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One Sheffield one I remember when the weather was wintery is  " THERE'S A COLD WIND UP THE WICKER ARCHES" ie. east wind bringing wintery weather, I only remember it used round The Wicker and central area, possibly also in The Park.

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It's looking black o'er Bills mothers.

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13 hours ago, lysander said:

I'll go to top o r ar stairs.

Or "I'll go to t'end of our road" - neither of which I actually remember hearing in Sheffield. They tend to be trotted out by "stage Northerners" in modern times, often followed by a story involving a cardboard box.

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..."As much use as a chocolate fireguard......" You have as much chance as plaiting fog"....   "Couldn't hit a barn door with a snow plough"..." He/she doesn't know whether he/she is on this earth or Fuller's"..."He/she wants to know the ins and outs of a magpies a*se"".

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On ‎21‎/‎06‎/‎2018 at 17:12, Waterside Echo said:

It was a "long stand" that I got caught out with along with "fetch a fan belt gasket".  As for sayings, a face as long as Norfolk Street and a face to stop a clock were my mum's favourite sayings when we looked fed up. I liked the Confucius sayings though!  W/E.

Yes you're right Waterside Echo it is the long stand and not the long wait but it was the long wait they had when they requested it, I've got to admit I fell for this one in my first job. I suppose they can't do this on youngsters anymore  or they would be up in in front of the beak.

But of course these weren't old sayings , I suppose they were just old tricks to play on the novices.

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No, snowflakes can't stand the stress...having said that, one of my grandsons applications for an apprenticeship has resulted in , literally, hours and hours of interviews and practicals....an astronaut probably had less investigation into abilities!

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These days kids have to go to what one teacher called "Day Jail For Kids" till they are 18. Now I wonder why that phrase hasn't caught on!

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Some rather rude one's that Jasper Carrot made famous. I can get away with them because you have to have a dirty mind to work them out, nobody wants to admit to that do they!

The gates are open, but the beast is asleep"

"I just going to syphon my python." 

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The second of those is, unless I'm mistaken, from that fount of breezily basic English, Australia, whence "point Percy at the porcelain" also comes.

 

Surely the item for which unsuspecting new employers were sent was a a long WEIGHT.

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2 hours ago, Athy said:

Surely the item for which unsuspecting new employers were sent was a a long WEIGHT.

More likely a long STAND.

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On ‎21‎/‎06‎/‎2018 at 17:12, Waterside Echo said:

It was a "long stand" that I got caught out with along with "fetch a fan belt gasket".  As for sayings, a face as long as Norfolk Street and a face to stop a clock were my mum's favourite sayings when we looked fed up. I liked the Confucius sayings though!  W/E.

I got caught out with the "long stand" after I had been persuaded that there was such a thing. Fred the works storeman  said "You've stood long enough" after 5 minutes. I was told that some other apprentices had been a bit more clever. One took back a hand full of grease that he claimed contained the "Bubble for the spirit level". Another apprentice told to "Get a rubber hammer for soft nails" went to a tool shop and bought a rubber mallet that the man sending him had to pay for.

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In the early 1960's I joined the Royal Navy as an Artificer Apprentice at HMS Fisgard in Devon. I will never forget being told to go to the boiler room to bring back a flashback!

 

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